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Both Sides of Lonely

by Michelle Billingsley

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1.
I like the way he brings me roses And he’s pretty good at paying compliments He’s almost Mr. Right, but what was missing I couldn’t put my thumb on it yet Then one night during a misunderstanding We were both in the wrong, if truth be told He gave me the sweetest apology And I was his from that moment forward I love the way he says he’s sorry Swears up and down it’s all his fault He knows how to make things right Get down on his knees, apologize Yeah, I love the way he says he’s sorry I don’t like feeling this guilty I toss and I turn all night Wondering would it be so wrong of me To pick one tiny little fight Too bad that’s all now ancient history Didn’t work out too well in retrospect He’s out there making someone else happy I bet it’s with an argument I loved the way he says he’s sorry Swore up and down it’s his fault He knew how to make things right Get down on his knees, apologize I loved the way he said he’s sorry Yeah, I loved the way he said he’s sorry
2.
Neat Whiskey 02:58
Is it worse today? Yeah, it’s worse today Lord, hurry on up and take me away There’s only one thing to set me free One tall glass of neat whiskey These plain white walls are feeling mighty close They’re leaning down on me, right around my throat Got just enough will to lie here on the floor But it’s pretty comfy, I’ve been here before Is it worse today Yeah, it’s worse today Lord, hurry on up and take me away There’s only one thing to set me free No water, no ice just neat whiskey I should go to work, but I’d rather sleep I’m getting real good at ignoring my dreams Why’s that sun got to be so bright Doesn’t it know I do my best drinking at night Is it worse today Yeah, it’s worse today Lord, hurry on up and take me away There’s only one thing to set me free One tall glass of neat whiskey It’s been a bad day And tomorrow I’ll start over But that’s a long way off Bartender I’m too sober My only talent is doing it all wrong And I keep on doing it all night long I’m not crying just earning my blues Only everything’s in pieces, I don’t know what to do. Is it worse today Yeah, it’s worse today Lord, hurry on up and take me away There’s only one thing to set me free One tall glass of neat whiskey
3.
He said it was his big break “The biggest baby, be happy for me I’ll be rolling in deep, like we always dreamed I’ll be back couple days, a week Leave a light burning on for me” He loaded up the trunk of his car With his favorite boots, dad’s guitar Said, “stop that baby, I always have it with me” He said “the thing is baby, my momma was the open road” Rotten smells pretty good when it’s all you know Rotten smells pretty good when you’re standing Knee deep in trouble in the pouring rain I tell myself this one little lie Everytime I get high I can’t keep coming back for more Funny what he left behind Dirty clothes, lie after lie But it’s worse what he took He took your hope Proposed with a promise of a band of gold Now colors look wrong What’s blue again Can’t feel my tongue Get out of bed So what if the story he told was full of holes Rotten smells pretty good ‘cause it’s all you know Rotten smells pretty good when you’re standing Knee deep in trouble in the pouring rain I tell myself this one little lie Everytime I get high I can’t keep coming back for more I can’t keep coming back for more I can’t keep coming back
4.
Livin' and a-workin' in the city, I thought I was a big girl I felt so smart and my own life I could choose So Miss Smarty found herself a city boy who one night said he loved her And the next night he leaves her sittin' with a bad case of the blues Yoodle-lad-eee-heee-heee-heee-heee, uh-huh If I really was a smart girl I could turn him loose Yoodle-lad-eee-heee-heee-heee-heee, uh-huh Instead of sittin' and a-cryin' with a bad case of the blues So I took myself out to the country to see my Mother She said, "What no-good man has got my lovin' little child's heart sore?" I said Mama, he tells me that he loves me and then he's out with another, And he's got me right down to the last square on the checkerboard Yoodle-lad-eee-heee-heee-heee-heee, uh-huh Little country girl done got hooked on a barbed wire love Yoodle-lad-eee-heee-heee-heee-heee, uh-huh And she can't get loose from this bad case of the blues
5.
At the corner of my eye there’s a trick of the light A relic of the time I almost got over you It’s not a tear, it’s hard like a stone It glitters like Elvis knew all along That time was short I don’t care enough to wonder I’m too petty to want to know Who helped you over The last four years or so Around my mouth, painted on like a clown’s Is an upside down dream that rains when I talk If you need me back baby, you know who to call I’m moving on by not moving on at all I don’t care enough to wonder I’m too petty to want to know Who helped you over The last four years or so In my hand is a champagne stem to toast your new lover In my hand is a champagne stem to toast your new lover In my hand is a champagne stem to toast your new lover And her perfect gentleman Guess she don’t know you that well yet
6.
I’ve got trouble walking and I’ve got you to thank I should have listened to my heart I should have stayed away I feel like the queen of the rodeo Who said when she got off her horse I got trouble walking You said that we were over You’ve said those words before Why don’t you come around tonight with a bottle of red wine And let yourself in through the back door I will be waiting in the bedroom In some barely there negligee Open up that bottle of wine, pour yourself a fight Pick up where we left off yesterday ‘Cause I’ve got trouble walking and I’ve got you to thank I should have listened to my heart I should have stayed away I feel like the queen of the rodeo Who said when she got off her horse I got trouble walking Tomorrow we’ll both agree How sweet leaving can be But this can’t be what it ain’t Lose my number and my name We were on the way out anyway Sayonara, adios, goodbye forever Let’s make this a clean break Don’t come back tonight Acting like you got the right To pick up where we left off yesterday ‘Cause I’ve got trouble walking and I’ve got you to thank I should have listened to my heart I should have stayed away I feel like the queen of the rodeo Who said when she got off I got trouble walking
7.
Some say behind every man is a good woman She’s backstage, pulling all the strings But he liked more than one cook in his kitchen You’d have to be a fool not to see First broke my heart when I wasn’t looking That’s how I found out he was bored of me Then he talked us into wine and the bedroom And so two ended up as three Can’t relate to those songs on the radio that talk about love Why’d Tammy “Stand by that Man”? Can she really mean it? Stay right here and take this? Take her and her and her and me Wasn’t satisfied with one of anything He couldn’t say when, we teased It was always feast, and never famine For a man who had a hand in An apple pie, and cherry, and peach Can’t relate to those songs on the radio that talk about love Why’d Tammy “Stand by that Man”? Can she really mean it? Stay right here and take this? Take her and her and her and her And Her and her and her and her Take her and her and her And me
8.
I was dancin’ with my darling to the Tennessee Waltz When an old friend I happened to see Introduced her to my darlin’ and while they were dancing My friend stole my sweetheart from me I remember that night and the Tennessee Waltz Now I know just how much I have lost Yes I lost my little darling the night they were playing The beautiful Tennessee Waltz I remember that night and the Tennessee Waltz Now I know just how much I have lost Yes I lost my little darling the night they were playing The beautiful Tennessee Waltz The beautiful Tennessee Waltz
9.
Want to see what a smile looks on my face? Like wine stains on a coffee cup, a broken window pane Old honey solid in the jar It looks like both sides of lonely Used to be good at pretending I was good Half bad habits, half low hanging fruit Still I set the table with two pawn shop spoons For both sides of lonely I said I was fine, what’s left to mourn But no one else knows why I get so hungry in a storm Bless my feet for carrying me past the past Past the sunsets, past the broken glass Past the people expecting me to laugh Looks like both sides of lonely I said I was fine, what’s left to mourn But no one else knows why I get so hungry in a storm What am I doing keeping these photographs around The ones you said we’re happy If you only look at our mouths Still I can’t bear just to throw them out They’re my proof of both sides Solid proof of both sides of lonely
10.
Wichita 02:37
Got tired of waiting for you at the greyhound stop I knew my luck, so I started to walk First car that passed me by Pulled over and I jumped inside Hey hey buddy, are you headed towards Wichita? He had a steel steer buckle and he liked to talk About the women who wronged him and his faithful dog Don’t know what came over me But I slid myself across that seat Now he’s driving’ with one hand on my knee We stopped that night to look at the stars Had a picnic on the roof of his car One bottle turned to three Then it got a little fuzzy When I woke in the morning It was just my bags and me Feels like when it rains, it always pours Someone’s locked all the windows and boarded up the doors I ain’t lucky I’m as far away from luck as can be Lightning wouldn’t strike me flying a kite with a key There’s a lesson here that I’m supposed to get But I was bad at school, cheated on every test Just tell me what I’m supposed to do, I’ll learn my lines, I’ll hit my cue Just as soon as I can get into Wichita Just tell me what I’m supposed to do, I’ll learn my lines, I’ll hit my cue Just as soon as I can get into Wichita
11.
Joshua 02:59
Joshua, have you heard, it’s the end of the world? Even the mice are runnin’ Word is from the top there wasn’t even a war, Just someone fell asleep on the button We all stood aside while the soldiers arrived We opened the door, let them in Quick as they could, they shot it all down I guess Jesus isn’t coming Oh lie with me within our dreams And not worry about waking up I could tell where we are, if I could see any stars If only the horizon’d stop glowing So have that cigarette Though it’s the last that you’ll get But save our booze for trading Oh lie with me Within our dreams And not worry about waking up I have one request while our teeth rot in our heads And the ash turns our hair the same gray I hope we’ll go soon And not hang on too long I was never one for famine

credits

released June 2, 2023

Drums: Jordan Snow
Bass: Brian Westfall
Pedal Steel/Electric Guitar: Brian Wilkie
Vocals/Acoustic Guitar: Michelle Billingsley
All songs except Bad Case of the Blues and Tennessee Waltz written by: Michelle Billingsley
Bad Case of the Blues: written by Margaret Lewis and Myra Smith
Tennessee Waltz: written by Pee Wee King & Redd Stewart
Horns: Gerald Bailey
Banjo: Max Allard
Piano: Sean Hughes
Fiddle: Deanie Richardson
Additional vocals: Kiley Moore, Wild Earp, George Edward Hurden IV, Christina Hines, Jordan Snow, Brian Westfall

Label: Western Myth Records
Recorded/Mixed by Doug Malone
Recorded at: JamDek
Mastered by John Baldwin Mastering
Photo by intheblackphotography
Cover design by Shayne Taylor Art
Produced by Michelle Billingsley
Special thanks to David Billingsley

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Michelle Billingsley Chicago, Illinois

"Biting & enigmatic. …the knock ‘em dead bravado of Nancy Sinatra and the blunt storytelling knack of Neko Case." -Glide Magazine

“Charming ... candid." - American Songwriter

“Biting wit...all in a tongue-in-cheek gently honky-tonkin’ spirit." -Americana UK

Michelle will remind you of an Emmylou who went through the looking glass.
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